We have all argued with someone close to us. We have all experienced rejection. We have all heard, “It’s not you, it’s me”. We have all heard long distance relationships don’t work or last. The last sentence is the biggest lie in society surrounding relationships. I know that 1st hand with my own relationship with my husband as we were long distance relationship and got married while being long distant for 9 yrs of our 11 yrs together. As a society we are taught the opposite sex is bad instead of realizing it is a mismatch or stemming from childhood. We watch our parents or if one isn’t around whoever is around us we watch how they got our main caregiver. Example: mom pays attention to you when dad is gone and when dad is home mom pays more attention to him. You learn how to obtain your mom’s attention by doing some of the things dad does to get her attention. How does that affect your relationships?
We all seek out to find someone exactly like our main caregiver as adults. We all have that strong desire to feel loved even if you didn’t have that growing up. You get rejected by your caregivers at times as they have lives of their own too with work, house cleaning, etc to do. At that point as a child you make a decision to be like them in certain ways or not. Growing up you date, and experience more of what you want or don’t want in choosing a partner. When you find someone intially they are just like you. They like the same things, they like doing similar activties with you and then it just seems after a while it stops. The magic is gone and the resentment sets in. The relationship ends or you fake it long enough in hopes the other person gets tired and ends the relationship for you by cheating or just saying it’s over. This rejection leads to the immediate I need to find another person and the cycle continues.
The whole, “it’s not you, it’s me” could be true for that person. It could also be true for you feel in the relationship. The greatest blessing we can do for another person is to love ourselves 1st in a non sexual way I stating currently. Finding out what we do want, what we don’t want, and having requirements is healthy. Example: I wanted someone who had bigger arm muscles, didn’t care that I was told I couldn’t have children (I did despite drs saying I couldn’t), love me on the days I wasn’t lovable and would build me up. Well I got that in my husband and more at times than I wanted. We argue as wouldn’t you know we are different despite our intial “life is great and he’s like me” at first. If I had known what I know now about relationships. I would have built myself up in confidence, found out who I am and want I wanted first then found my husband. I wasn’t taught that. I was taught like most: date, get married, have kids and well work until I am dead just to say I have a ton of regrets of working all my life instead of spending more time with family.
Life doesn’t have to consist of rejection, poor self esteem, poor self worth, living paycheck to paycheck and more. It can be better by finding out what you do want and how you can assist your partner in getting your desires met too. Say you want to go out to dinner 1 time a week and your partner says, no. They want to go out with friends. Learning how to communicate better with your partner will help you find the balance you are looking for in the relationship. Using the way they learn best to talk with them. Changing your wording builds rapport even your partner and helps in the bedroom. Yes, hypnosis can even improve your sex life. There truly a better life full of joy, peace, strength and more when building up yourself as that ripples out to all those around you. Your relationships with others are just as vital as sleep, and your dietary choices to leading the best life possible and it’s all in your thoughts that you can change. Make sure to schedule your appointment with me today for your relationship to blossom even with yourself. It is impossible to care for others until you take care of yourself first.